How to Negotiate with Your Wedding Vendors

We’re pretty sure you’ve been told to negotiate with your vendors to get a good price. So we thought we might investigate how to do this successfully. We went straight to the source, wedding vendors, to find out what works—and what works against you.

By: Kim Forrest |

Photo: Karen Wise

The Approach: Starting the relationship the right way will help you save.

You can’t begin to think about negotiating if you’re even slightly unsure of how much you want to spend. “Instead of looking around at vendors and then deciding what your budget is, solidify your budget and then look for vendors with rates that fit in,” says Chad Michael Peters, a floral designer and wedding planner in Massachusetts.

You’ll need to do a bit of research to figure out how much you can afford to spend on each vendor. Call or write those you could really see yourself hiring to find out their package pricing, and use this information to divvy up your budget. “It’s good to shop around for vendors,” says Jim Skipper of Black Tie Video, in Maryland. “It’s not offensive to ask for rates, but that can’t be the only thing in your e-mail. Tell me you like my work, but you have budget issues. We would like to be considered for our work, not just our price.”

“I once got a call from a bride who gave me some really flowery flattery then told me she had a budget of $1,500, which is way below what we normally work with. But because she was so cool, we were able to make it happen.”

And don’t be discouraged if a vendor you love is way out of your price range. “If a potential client contacts me, then realizes they can’t afford my rate, I am happy to refer them to others in the business,” says California photographer Bret Cole. While you’re collecting various starting prices, be sure you’re comparing apples to apples. For example, one package may include an album, while others may not.

Your approach and personality style have a lot to do with whether or not a vendor will be willing to lower a price.”I once got a call from a bride who gave me some really flowery flattery then told me she had a budget of $1,500, which is way below what we normally work with,” says Chad Michael Peters. “But because she was so cool, we were able to make it happen.”

“Play on vendors’ sympathies and emotions,” says New Jersey wedding planner Jenny Orsini of Pampered Bride Weddings. “Say ‘I really love your work, I would really appreciate this rate, anything you can do for us would make our day that much more special.’”

On the flip side, don’t be aggressive or threatening (it happens more often than you’d think). “One girl kept telling me: ‘This is all I have, if you can’t do it, I’m using an iPod,’” says Jeff Donovan of DJ on Demand, in Colorado. “You have to meet vendors halfway.”

It’s important to maintain a good relationship with your vendors—you want them to be as excited to work with you as you are with them. So be sure that your negotiations are handled as calmly and politely as possible. If your vendor is already providing you a reasonable deal, don’t ask for more. “You may be able to get a small discount, 10 percent for example, but don’t expect a huge bargain,” says San Francisco wedding planner Amy Nichols. “Be respectful of the vendor—it would be insulting if you asked them for 50 percent off, especially if they’re already working with you to fit in your budget.”

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Two weeks ago, over 100 riders took to the roads of southern New Hampshire to participate in the 8th annual Granite State Quest – A ride to conquer cancer.  I am pleased to report that it was a wonder and successful day.  You may recall that July 10th was during one of those hot spells, not to be confused with the hot weather of the past few days.  In addition to the heat, there were some pretty good rain storms throughout the day.  Thanks to Exeter Rent – All with its generous donation of 3 tents the riders were able to find shade or get out of the rain when they circled back to Timberland after each of the 3 loops they rode throughout the seacoast.  Without the tents, our post ride barbeque for riders, volunteers, friends and family would not have been as enjoyable, as the rain returned on a few occasions during the celebration. 

Exeter Rent- All has been a wonderful supporter every year and thanks to your in kind donation and that of other local business, we are thankful and proud that 100% of the funds raised by the riders go directly to pediatric cancer research and patient care at The Massachusetts General Hospital.  Our fund raising efforts thus far have totaled $75,137 and we are hopeful to reach $100,000 which will result in an eight year total of over three quarters of a million dollars.

Thanks again and please extend our appreciation to the entire Exeter Rent-All team. 

Bruce Taylor
Co-Founder – The Granite State Quest

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The secret to staging a perfect seaside ceremony
By —Dinah Gold |
Photos by Photographer: Luca Trovato

Picture the most relaxed, romantic setting you can imagine. There’s a very good chance it’s a beach—a tropical shoreline framed by lush palm trees or a rocky coast where foaming waves rush to meet dramatic jetties. If you think this is paradise, why not get married here? Below, what to know when planning seaside I dos.

Timing and Weather

While no one can guarantee a beautiful day, you can increase your chances for sunny skies by researching your site’s seasonal patterns before booking a date (contact the town’s chamber of commerce or log on theweatherchannel.com). If possible, pick a month when the weather is most consistently temperate.

Find out about other weather-driven factors, such as how windy the beach gets at different times of the day; you can then plan accordingly (for example, using decorative mesh screens behind you during the vow exchange to shield everyone from overzealous breezes). If you’re determined to get hitched at sunset, visit the Navy’s Web site at usno.navy.mil.com to fine-tune your timing. Pay attention to the ocean’s cycles, too, so you know when the tide comes in.

Getting There

During high season, beach traffic can be heavy, and during the off-season detours are common, so send guests instructions listing several possible driving routes, including one from the nearest airport, suggests Jeffrey Jacobs, banquet manager of Gurney’s Inn, a seaside resort in Montauk, New York. Parking can be tricky, too, if your ceremony is taking place far from the reception (which is best held indoors, not directly on the beach).

Call the chamber of commerce even before you book your date to ask about reserving parking spaces and applying for any permits. If the lot is far from your wedding site, you may want to provide a shuttle bus or van for guests. At the very least, post markers along the route. Balloons tied to a post may blow away, so try something sturdier—for example, a trail of well-placed, tulle-decorated buckets weighted down with heavy rocks.

Your Look

Let guests know the wedding will be right on the beach so they can dress appropriately. Word your invitation accordingly, with a phrase like “beachside ceremony” or “ceremony on the sand.” High heels and a heavy, elaborate gown with a long train will look stiff and formal; instead, consider marrying in a gown of a simpler design made of an airy, lightweight fabric like organza, chiffon, charmeuse, or crepe (avoid silk, which can make you perspire).

Go barefoot or wear flat, dressy sandals; flip-flops are too adolescent. Flowers in your hair are a safer choice than a veil, especially if there may be wind. “If you do want to wear a veil, make sure it’s weighted at the bottom with beads or fabric flowers, so it doesn’t flap or go airborne,” warns Kevin Tobey, social catering director at the Four Seasons Palm Beach in Florida. One word about panty hose: Don’t!

The groom’s outfit should match the formality of yours: a white dinner jacket for a dressy wedding; a blazer, khakis, and a white or light-colored shirt if it’s informal. So you glow rather than burn, apply sunscreen under your makeup.

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I hope you enjoy the article!

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Research first

Book your reception site before hiring a caterer. Keep in mind that many banquet halls have exclusive (or “preferred”) relationships with in-house caterers, which may limit your ability to work with an outside company. Check before you interview outsiders.

Menu matters

Plan to set up your menu at least six months in advance. If you’re marrying during peak wedding season (June-October) you may have to order it even sooner, especially if you want a big-name caterer.

Seek out referrals

Ask friends and family for recommendations, and talk to brides in your area. Once you find a caterer you like, speak to satisfied brides and ask for references before you sign a contract.

Set priorities

If having a large number of people at your reception is important to you, scale back on the refreshments. On the other hand, if gourmet food is a priority, then keep your guest list to a manageable size or restrict your bar offerings to wine and beer.

Buffet or banquet

Do you want a five-course dinner menu with individual wine pairings? Or is a barbeque buffet more in keeping with your wedding theme? Consider your personal style to determine what will work best for you.

Special requests

Are there dietary needs (vegetarian, kosher) to consider? Make sure your caterer has experience preparing these types of dishes.

Set the scene

Bring in photos of your dress, reception site, and flowers—anything that will give your prospective caterer a better sense of the type of reception you have in mind.

Tasting time

If the caterer is offering a complimentary sampling, be sure to clear the number of people you can bring beforehand.

How to save money

Daytime affair

Opt for a wedding brunch or luncheon reception instead of dinner, which is typically much more expensive.

Cocktail hour

Skip the full meal and celebrate with tasty refreshments instead—an option that works best for a celebration after a 2 p.m. ceremony (not dinnertime). Or host an afternoon tea or a late afternoon/early-evening cocktail reception.

Course cutting

If you have your heart set on a seated meal, cut back the number of courses from five to three.

Smaller selection

Ask guests to select their meal preferences on the RSVP cards so caterers can plan ahead, or choose a pasta or protein dish that you think has the broadest appeal.

Top quality

Keep the menu simple and focus on quality ingredients. Ask your caterer to use in-season produce from local farms.

Kid friendly

Order an inexpensive kids’ menu for the children’s table at your reception. Chances are they’d much rather have a cheeseburger and fries than foie gras, anyway.

BYOB

See if your caterer will let you bring your own liquor. (Be sure to ask about corkage fees.)

The basics

Limit your bar offerings to wine and beer. Liquor (especially premium bands) can add a wallop to your bar tab.

Size matters

Keep your guest list to a manageable number.

What to include in your contract

• The date, time, length and location (include specific room or hall) of the reception.
• The date by which you need to supply the caterer with a final headcount.
• Type of food service (buffet, cocktail reception, seated meal).
• Your approved menu and courses.
• Alcohol arrangements: Does your caterer have a liquor license? Can you supply your own wine? Will there be a corkage fee? What brands and vintages will they be serving? Can you return unopened bottles? Will there be an open bar? (If so, specify the hours.)
• Server specifics, including staff-to-guest ratio and dress code.
• The cost of renting equipment, silverware, glassware and linens.
• Arrangements for feeding other wedding vendors (photographer, band, planner).
• The name of the banquet manager who will be overseeing the reception.
• Price quotes for food and maximums on unforeseen menu expenditures; cancellation and overtime fees; deposit and refund policies; payment schedule; extra fees including gratuities and sales tax; and the total estimated cost.

What to Ask…

Choosing the right vendor comes down to asking the right questions.

Click for a printable worksheet to take to your appointments.

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So, most, if not all, weddings have some sort of budget.  If you have absolutely no budget, whatsoever, you could quickly be throwing 6 figures at the one day.  If you don’t make a Hollywood paycheck, but still want to have a wedding, it’s best to give yourself some sort of limit, so that you might still be able to own a house in your lifetime. 

Couples planning a traditional wedding in the New Hampshire seacoast region are spending an average of $20,000-$40,000.  The question then, is how to get the most bang for your limited buck.  The answer is to prioritize.  Make a list of all the things that are important to you.  For instance, a stunning view, a huge dance floor, elaborate & custom lighting design, a couture wedding gown, an open bar, haute cuisine menu, china & crystal rather than paper & plastic.  Make the list huge and dreamy and, maybe even, completely fantastical.  Then, start doing some pricing research.  Assign realistic dollar amounts to each item.  Add them up.  How far over budget are you?  Maybe not all.  Maybe you’re considering knocking over a bank.  Maybe you’re so discouraged you’re thinking of calling the whole thing off.

This is the time to sit down with your fiancé, and anyone else in your family who’s helping with the planning or paying, for a nice long chat.  Things can get challenging here; how often does your family agree on anything?  Let everyone say their piece, uninterrupted.  Let me repeat that: uninterrupted.  Once everyone has gotten the chance to say what’s important to them, it’s time to do a second budget crunch.  In a perfect world, each person could have the one or two most important items on their dream list.  In a real world, we’ll have to make some tough decisions.  The thing to keep in mind is that the day is about the joining of two people and two families.  Allow this budgeting process to open the doors of communication that will keep you all happy & functionin  in sickness & in health, for richer & for poorer, til death do us part.

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Lately many of our brides have been talking about having potluck wedding receptions instead of hiring expensive caterers. They send out invitations with a request that guests bring their favorite dish to share at the reception. What a great way to cut costs and ask your guests to participate in creating a lifetime of memories.

Ask everyone to bring a copy of their recipe. Instead of a guest book have a cookbook!

The cost of a cake, catered food and beverages can add up to thousands of dollars quickly. Many venues such as parks, public gardens and private homes allow you to bring in your own food.

We at Exeter events and tents can help you with all your set up needs for just this type of event. We can help you create a floor plan, design buffet service and beverage stations. We have a vast variety of equipment from chafing dishes, raw bar displays, coffee urns, serving utensils and chilling tables.

A wedding is a celebration of friends and family to gather and share a joyous day. Your guests will likely remember your wedding as a great party with family and friends.

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I spent a lot of time looking at all the new silverware and glassware pattern .  The glassware by Riedel was stunning.  It is lighter and more elegant than conventional rental glassware and is a well known brand in the wine industry.  Many of you folks who cruise have probably already been introduced to it in the wine tasting events held on the major cruise lines. Stay tuned I hope to purchase it for this summer season!

Here is a summary of other exciting new items at the show:

The talk of the show was the new tents presented by Aztec.  They have designed a sailcloth frame tent.   It was the prettiest tent at the show.  It is a manufacturing marvel, joining the engineering of a frame tent with the nautical soft flowing lines of a sailcloth tent.   Sailcloth has become the hottest product in the tent industry over the past few years.

I spent a lot of time with Drake Manufacturing who was displaying Chivari chairs in fruitwood, gold and clear.  Natural garden chairs were seen in most booths for a more natural organic wedding look and feel.

Tent wares of Londonderry N.H. had oriental and Japanese lanterns in all the latest colors including tangerine, fuchsia and white.  We utilize their product for custom tent lighting at all of our events.

The hottest linen colors displayed by A1 Tablecloth Company for 2010 are a navy blue and white combo for this summer’s fashions.   The most popular way to add an additional splash of color is to add table runners in contrasting colors and fabrics.    Tablecloths in taffeta and satins graced many displays.

We will be e-blasting color photos and detailed descriptions of all the new products we will be carrying very soon. So if you are not on our mailing list and would like to be follow this link Join Our Mailing List and tell a colleague, in-law or future in-law in our tell a friend section at the top of the blog. We give you just about any way under the sun to tell your friends about our blog and it’s contents. While you’re at it fan us on Face Book. It’s a great place to see all the latest event products, valuable links and just for our fans coupon discounts.

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Being first is not always being the best

I remember the Sperry Tent had a nice light flowing feel to it and not opaque like the other tents available at the time. I thought why not create a new and improved version of the Sperry Tent? I now understood one of the reasons why sails were lowered in a storm. This tent needed to be more water proof and durable while at the same time not lose any of its elegance and beauty.

Ingenuity and change is the life blood of an Entrepreneur

If we combined this more durable tent with our full service special events experience we would create a unique and superior buying experience for today’s weddings and corporate event

Why go one place for a tent and then another for chairs a third for linens and china.   What an imposition on a bride or event manager! We approached what we felt was the best tent manufacturer in the United States to make our next generation sailcloth tent. This newly designed sailcloth is the most beautiful weather resistant product on the market today. Clients rave that they are the most beautiful tents on display on all the most recent national tent shows so far this year. Couple these tents with our other award winning products, valuable guidance and impeccable customer service you’ll agree we have created a seamless one stop experience you won’t soon forge

Proof is in the pudding

Seeing is believing so let us show you up close and personal what we have found to be the latest and greatest available, in all aspects of wedding and corporate event rentals, on the market today. Please call any of our professional account consultants Ashley, Cedar or Sarah at 800 677-9838 for a free personal consult regarding your wedding.

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With Ashley’s new title comes added responsibilities including introducing Exeter Events & Tents to the Concord area. “We are opening a new showroom in downtown Concord located directly across from the State House. Concord compliments our business well and we are excited to provide the area with a full service wedding and event rental company. We are expected to open February 15, 2010.” The new Concord showroom will be located at 118 North Main St.

Exeter Events & Tents is Northern New England’s premier full service wedding and event rental organization. With over 25 years of combined experience, our consultants are more than happy assist you with planning your event rentals. Our extensive line of tents, dance floors, dishes, linens, tables, chairs, and other party supplies are perfect for a backyard barbeque, wedding, birthday party, or family outing.

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